Remission?

So I've been feeling much better the last couple of weeks!!  I don't know, I just feel like I've made another huge step toward recovery.  Still some annoying symptoms, but I'm managing a lot better.  I've taken Camryn to the children's museum in Columbia with my sweet, dear friend, Melanie and her precious babes.  We had a blast.  Camryn hasn't been going to school a lot lately because I've just enjoyed feeling like keeping her home and taking her with me everywhere I go...like we used to!  I'm super excited about re-roofing our home.  It's been a looooong time coming.  I'm also becoming more and more thankful for my Betaseron.  Since my lesions have regressed, it's obvious that the injections are working.  Where would I be without this amazing drug?  And there are so many advancements on the horizan for battling MS.  I'm just so very thankful that I'm living in this century, otherwise, I might be facing a lifetime of complete misery.  I wrote a story about my experience with MS for the paper, which will come out Tuesday, in time for MS Awareness Week.  I hope it sheds some light on the disease for people (like me) who might be clueless.  Wow.  I am truly blessed beyond words.  

It's not as easy as it looks

Haven't written in a while because my attitude hasn't been the best.  Well, it still isn't.  Depression is a terrible thing.  I know it's from Satan, but it's hard to shake it sometimes.  It's a side effect of my injections, too.  Imagine that!  A precious childhood friend is having a baby girl we found out yesterday.  I even know her name although I'm gonna keep it under wraps until she's ready to announce it.  I'm soo soo excited for her. But I feel so crappy all the time, so it's hard to really be myself.  I pretend for Camryn and for most everyone, really.  I get up, take Camryn to school (sometimes), take a shower, put on makeup, straighten up the house...you know, go through the motions of life.  But my JOY...my joy just isn't what it used to be.  I used to be so excited about life...about LIVING and being happy.  I don't need a mansion or a fancy car...just my family and our health...my health, so I can take care of my child.  My precious child that God has charged me with.  And as much as I want to be excited for Carrie...my heart is broken into pieces because this isn't how it was supposed to be.  This isn't how my life was supposed to be.  I was supposed to have 2 children by now.  I shouldn't have to wonder whether or not I feel like going to the grocery store or staying out till 10 at night.  I'm 27...not 87.  Rod wants to go snow skiing...I can't do that!!  My legs are too weak.  I still get dizzy.  I still don't sleep well at night.  I do good just getting Camryn her bath and getting her into bed without breaking into tears.  I feel sometimes like the world is just moving around me and I'm just existing.  I want to feel normal again.  I want to feel like ME.  And then, Rod reminds me that I'm alive...that I still have work to do on this earth that has nothing to do with him or Camryn.  But my heart is torn because I AM a mother and my responsibility to my child and husband is so so intense.  I'm sure people look at me and think, wow, she has MS?  Looks like she's doing pretty darn good.  But the agony is real, the depression is real, the chronic pain is real.  Will it ever go away?  Will I ever go a day without thinking about how I feel or whether I'll have another flare?  And the baby issue is another whole subject.  Oh, I'm having another baby if it KILLS me.  So when people ask...so how are you doing?  I usually smile and say..."better," or "just fine," but believe me...it's not as easy as it looks.